First: Wishing everyone a happy holiday season (or as merry as it can be with the pending financial crisis)

There’s a lot about people that you never really find out. I’ve been exploring some of my classmate’s weblogs/facebooks – you never really pay attention to those notes in the facebook you know, unless you’re mentioned or it’s about a schedule or something – and some of the things people wrote really surprised me. Now that I think about it logically, it really shouldn’t be so surprising, there were whiffs of it flying around, I suppose I was just oblivious to everyone around me. Selfish.

I suppose I lost the people in attempting to quantify them: “Oh, that’s Arun, yea, he’s super smart” or “M—-na? She’s such a brown-noser, have you seen the way she acts with Mr. B—ak?” or “C——a ——-? Yea, she’s not in that many AP Honors classes, really.” That’s the downside of the school system we grow up in, as elite students – we conventionalize, we trivialize, we rationalize. Myself perhaps more than others: I’ve always been too wrapped up in conventions, in traditions because they give security and meaning to the things we do. But when you always live according to them, all you meet are conventions and traditions, not real people.

But onto the grateful part: I’m really sincerely grateful for the people I have gotten to understand and know more or less – my family, Harmony, Janice, Kathie, Kelly, Maggie, Kathy Cheng, Yin Yin, May … more than I can really list, especially since I realize how hard it must be to let me know you when I really didn’t care much about knowing people, just who they “should” be

I’m also grateful for at least being able to glimpse a small part of the people I never really knew – Arun, Wayne, Dani Lee, really so many people that I interact with on an almost daily basis.

Of course there’s much more that I’m grateful for than just the people around me (awesome as all of you are), I’m grateful for the fact that my family is still together (cliche, I know, but true) despite the fact that my dad was recently laid off and finances are a bit tight; I’m grateful for the fact that I was accepted into the college of my choice, much more than I can say for most of my more intelligent peers with this year’s crazy admissions system; I’m grateful for the chance to learn and grow as a person; and most of all, I’m grateful that I was able to move closer with God this year. I don’t presume to understand Him, but I do know that I believe in Him unconditionally.

Moving on to resolutions (a little early for the New Years, I know, but then, I never really felt that resolutions should be allocated solely to one date)

This year I resolve to understand people a little more. To be a better friend and classmate. To try to help others rather than always asking others to help me. To become stronger and more mature. Perhaps it is not too late. Perhaps it is never too late. I can always try =]

So, if you read this post, please think about the people around you with a little more interest this holiday season, with more than the obligatory class ranking  and daily rumor. And to everyone around me. I’m sorry. I’ve been childish. For almost 18 years. But I’ll try to grow up, I promise I will.

Lots of love, Cecilia

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